"Ever think that maybe it's a matter of wanting to? You're not just our boss, Kaz. We all care about you." In their own ways, he knew that was true. Some of them, himself and Inej, had a closer tie and more reasons to care. But Jesper also knew that every member of their little crew, of those that traversed to Fjerda and back, had a faith in Kaz and counted him as more than a leader.
The admittance, the mention of the Reaper's Barge draws his attention. His eyes flicker over Kaz's face, and for once he's still and quiet. It makes sense, the change. Between the horrors of the hospital and the truths that came out of it, and the death Jesper had inadvertently placed directly in his hands--the connection isn't a hard one to make.
"There's no Reaper's Barge here, Kaz." Not that the fact is hard to miss, or that it will help at all. "And neither of those deaths, Jordie's or my own, are your fault. Mine--I asked you, and if you hadn't I could have, would have, come for you and Wylan." He knows Kaz knows this, either expressly or deep down he must know that. But knowing and accepting are always two sides of the same coin and they never quite meet.
"I want to help you, but I don't know how." An admittance of his own. He's stood by Kaz through Hell and high-water and then some, but he hasn't always been able to help. There was always something out of reach, something he can't quite touch.
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Date: 2021-10-10 10:25 pm (UTC)The admittance, the mention of the Reaper's Barge draws his attention. His eyes flicker over Kaz's face, and for once he's still and quiet. It makes sense, the change. Between the horrors of the hospital and the truths that came out of it, and the death Jesper had inadvertently placed directly in his hands--the connection isn't a hard one to make.
"There's no Reaper's Barge here, Kaz." Not that the fact is hard to miss, or that it will help at all. "And neither of those deaths, Jordie's or my own, are your fault. Mine--I asked you, and if you hadn't I could have, would have, come for you and Wylan." He knows Kaz knows this, either expressly or deep down he must know that. But knowing and accepting are always two sides of the same coin and they never quite meet.
"I want to help you, but I don't know how." An admittance of his own. He's stood by Kaz through Hell and high-water and then some, but he hasn't always been able to help. There was always something out of reach, something he can't quite touch.