He scoffs softly. "Saints, I still can't even take these off." he indicates the gloves on his hands. "Maybe he's wasting his time with me." All those eventualities that lay stretched out in front of him feel so insurmountable, still.
"Not like that." he whispers but the words come out in Kerch. He's shaking his head as he starts again. "I know I can't keep it from happening. That's why I have to keep everyone at a distance. If I can just...keep you far enough away, then it won't hurt as much." It's a useless hope, somewhere under this strange conviction he's spent too long trying to convince himself of as a truth, he knows that. Because the people he cares about are already a part of him in the exact way he tried so hard to keep from allowing to happen.
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Date: 2021-10-30 08:20 pm (UTC)"Not like that." he whispers but the words come out in Kerch. He's shaking his head as he starts again. "I know I can't keep it from happening. That's why I have to keep everyone at a distance. If I can just...keep you far enough away, then it won't hurt as much." It's a useless hope, somewhere under this strange conviction he's spent too long trying to convince himself of as a truth, he knows that. Because the people he cares about are already a part of him in the exact way he tried so hard to keep from allowing to happen.