"Things worth doing take time." It's a phrase he's heard a million times, from others far more patient than he could ever pretend to be. Kaz is definitely the more patient of the two of them, more willing to bide his time for what he wants. But he knows things take time, what he really needs--"You'll get there." What he really needs is people to believe it's possible.
He waits, watches as the confusion on Kaz's face shifts to understanding. He knows it's likely not something he's considered, most people never really have a reason to. They drift in and out of life never really seeing what they leave behind in their wake. It had once made Ravka and the Second Army a tempting thought--to be with Grisha, to live with people that won't fade long before you do. He let thought go a long time ago.
"I don't like to...but I do. Can't always help it." It was a thought that kept him up at night back in the Slat. One that had him watching Wylan sleep here; when the other boy managed it. It's a thought he tries to avoid, but can never run away from. "It's why I flirt the way I do I think. Can't form attachments if they aren't there longer than a night. We all have our coping mechanisms. But--it's why I run my mouth too. I don't want the people that matter most to me to leave without knowing what they were to me. Knowing I didn't tell them would eat me alive more than the loss ever could."
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Date: 2021-10-30 09:08 pm (UTC)He waits, watches as the confusion on Kaz's face shifts to understanding. He knows it's likely not something he's considered, most people never really have a reason to. They drift in and out of life never really seeing what they leave behind in their wake. It had once made Ravka and the Second Army a tempting thought--to be with Grisha, to live with people that won't fade long before you do. He let thought go a long time ago.
"I don't like to...but I do. Can't always help it." It was a thought that kept him up at night back in the Slat. One that had him watching Wylan sleep here; when the other boy managed it. It's a thought he tries to avoid, but can never run away from. "It's why I flirt the way I do I think. Can't form attachments if they aren't there longer than a night. We all have our coping mechanisms. But--it's why I run my mouth too. I don't want the people that matter most to me to leave without knowing what they were to me. Knowing I didn't tell them would eat me alive more than the loss ever could."