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[greedbowstome]

"Yeah... I guess." But he hates how slow the process is. And he knows that's really his own fault, but he can't just force his way through it. "I just wish it could go a little faster."

He frowns as he turns his gaze back on Jesper again. There's something else in that question, hanging at the edges that he isn't catching. The frown pinches further as Jesper continues, and for a long moment, it still doesn't make sense. What does he mean, he and Nina will be left at the end?

And then it clicks into place.
Because they're Grisha.
Because they'll live longer than the rest of them combined.
Because unless something else takes them before it happens, it will only be them at the end.

The pinched expression eases into something softer, that isn't entirely like Kaz, but somehow still is, too. "I...never considered that." He has had Grisha in his employ all this time, and there were several others at the call of The Dregs, but that particular point had never connected in his mind. No matter what happens, Jesper and Nina will outlive the lot of them, because of the very nature of what they are.

"...you think about it a lot?" he has a feeling he knows the answer.

[triggerguard]

"Things worth doing take time." It's a phrase he's heard a million times, from others far more patient than he could ever pretend to be. Kaz is definitely the more patient of the two of them, more willing to bide his time for what he wants. But he knows things take time, what he really needs--"You'll get there." What he really needs is people to believe it's possible.

He waits, watches as the confusion on Kaz's face shifts to understanding. He knows it's likely not something he's considered, most people never really have a reason to. They drift in and out of life never really seeing what they leave behind in their wake. It had once made Ravka and the Second Army a tempting thought--to be with Grisha, to live with people that won't fade long before you do. He let thought go a long time ago.

"I don't like to...but I do. Can't always help it." It was a thought that kept him up at night back in the Slat. One that had him watching Wylan sleep here; when the other boy managed it. It's a thought he tries to avoid, but can never run away from. "It's why I flirt the way I do I think. Can't form attachments if they aren't there longer than a night. We all have our coping mechanisms. But--it's why I run my mouth too. I don't want the people that matter most to me to leave without knowing what they were to me. Knowing I didn't tell them would eat me alive more than the loss ever could."

[greedbowstome]

Kaz has probably even uttered those words to Jesper before. But being on the receiving end of them isn't so great. He scoffs, his eyes casting upward. "Yeah... sure. I guess." At that, he can't help glancing back over at him. The look on his face is perfectly neutral, but everything on the inside was anything but. "You really think it's possible?"

It's a strange shift, this heavy thing Jesper carries with him, coloring all those other parts of him differently, suddenly. A different sort of perspective he couldn't have come to on his own.

But Kaz is still Kaz. And he has no idea what to say. All he manages in a nod, a glance down at his hands in his lap, uncharacteristically fidgety, and a quiet, "I see..." He rolls his lips together, knowing there should be more, and knowing he has nothing to offer.

[triggerguard]

"I'm not going to say you can manage it if I don't think it's possible." Jesper was a cheerleader, but not a liar. He's seen Kaz manage what seems impossible on more than one occasion, he doesn't doubt that this is something he can get through too. "Only difference is...you need to rely on some other people too, not just yourself."

That was half the problem, the relying on the other's part. Not because Kaz can't, but because it's a weakness he doesn't want people to see. Even when they already know about it.

Ad for the other part, the heavier quiet truth: "I just...That's why it's important that you admit things, that I push. If that's all I'm left with, I want the truth of it. I don't want to wonder. Doesn't matter if it goes somewhere or not."

[greedbowstome]

He nods a little at the vote of confidence. He still isn't sure he feels it quite so certainly, but... he'll accept that Jesper does. "I'm trying..." Sort of. He's mostly put this all in one person's lap, and that probably still isn't great in itself. The little argument he'd gotten into with Noah earlier was probably proof enough of that.

But he was so used to being so guarded around them. All of his crows. Wired to never let himself show weakness to the people that mattered most– he can practically hear Noah in his head arguing that they're the ones that should see it because they would understand and help him through the other side.

'If that's all I'm left with..." it twists something sharp and jagged in his chest. All he had left of his brother was maybe half a decade's worth of memories and the last handful of them were soured through time and understanding of exactly what had happened, what Jordie had allowed to happen. He doesn't want Jesper to have those sort of things left to deal with, eventually, does he?

He's quiet for several, long drawn out minutes. Until finally, he speaks again, voice careful, soft. "....yes. The...answer to your question is...yes. You're attractive." There's a beat and he adds, a little lighter, "I'm not blind."

[triggerguard]

In all honesty, Jesper wasn't expecting what he said to lead to any more truths or revelations from Kaz. He wasn't even out to get an answer to his question anymore. He just needed Kaz to see why he was...well the way he was. Why he pushed, annoyed, and clung on. If anything, it might have earned some honesty out of him at a later point--or it could have gotten him to consider his own approach to relationships.

The answer, quiet and soft, was not expected. Though the added snark at the end certainly helped ease the shock. "Good to know your eyes are in working order then." He wasn't going to linger on it. Drawing it out or needling Kaz on it further would only serve to get on his nerves.

[greedbowstome]

Sometimes, things hit in the right ways to squeeze it out of him anyway. Jesper just happened to trip into something that landed just so and made that happen. And it would be something that he mulled over for a long while later, probably, too.

He scoffs and shakes his head, eyes rolling playfully. "You're an idiot." but there's no real heat to the words, just that hidden affection that comes with it.

[cleptes]

Of course it is. [Her smile widens as she takes a sip from her glass.] I would like us to be friends.

[To put everything that happened behind them.]

So. What do you want to know about me?

[triggerguard]

Friends then. [Easy enough. He wasn't like some of the others from Ketterdam that were here. He was a friendly face, with the personality to match.]

We can start with the basics and work our way up to the soul-baring stuff once we're a few drinks in. [He grins.] What's it like, where you're from?

[triggerguard]

"He says with no malice. You like it." Jesper throws back, the teasing timbre back in his voice. "After all, you're the one that finds this idiot attractive."

Kaz has to know that he had to, at some point or another, tease him at least once about it. It's not as though it would be unexpected of him to do so.

[greedbowstome]

"For some reason." he quips back at him, a smirk on his lips. He absolutely expected it, and it feels natural, unlike the heap of everything else that came before it– he much prefers the lighter, teasing nature of things between them to the heavy alternatives.

[triggerguard]

"Yeah well, whatever the reason: You're stuck with it, with me." That was a fact long before any of this, before the mess this place had caused. There's a reason Jesper is Kaz's sharpshooter and no one else's.

[greedbowstome]

Jesper may see it as pure fact, but sometimes Kaz has his doubts that it can last like that. He knows how difficult he is, how frustrating he is to deal with. So... hearing it stated quite so plainly from the other boy's mouth does a lot to ease something that often clings to the back of his mind. "If you insist." he says casually, a smirk still touching his lips.

[cleptes]

Sounds good to me. [Bela nods, knowing that she'd need a few drinks before she shares anything too personal and dark.]

I'm from Earth, the year is 2008 and I suppose you could say my world is modern. The technology might be a little behind whatever Hell has, but I've got a handle on it. I'm used to the existence of supernatural creatures - demons, ghosts and so on. Oh, and there's magic too.

[The next part is something she doesn't mind sharing.]

As for me personally, I'm a professional thief for hire. Specializing in the procurement of occult objects.

Text - un: ripraven

[enoderedrum]

I have to share this with you….

Cause it made me ugly laugh….

Have you ever heard of Seagulling?!

APPARENTLY.

It means: to ejaculate into ones hand and proceed to slap a stranger round the face, with said salty hand.


I’m dying. RIP.

[triggerguard]

I have just one follow up question: why?!

[Is he currently dying laughing? Yes. Is he also going to show this text to Wylan at this current moment? Absolutely.]

[enoderedrum]

I have no idea but I had to share it with someone.

You appreciate this sort of nonsense more than anyone else I know so….lucky you.

[triggerguard]

Lucky me. Learning new things all the time from you.

Though I shared this with Wy, and you should have seen his face. Worth it.

[triggerguard]

If Kaz had any idea how that smirk of his almost invited flirtation from people like Jesper, he might avoid from wearing the expression so often. Or not--apparently there are some things he didn't have the best read on when it came to Kaz. Be that as it may, it does invite action from Jesper, drawing him in and causing him to invade Kaz's space as he leaned in close again.

"I absolutely insist."

[triggerguard]

Well, you have something on my lot--if things here are more modern, we're a far cry from it where I'm from.

Ketterdam, by the way--technically Cofton in Novyi Zem if we're talking origins. Earth seems to be where a lot of us are from, though the versions seem different. Ghosts and demons aren't really much of a thing, but magic...We consider it more of a science.

[There's a layer there. Something that might require more than a few drinks for him to really dig into.]

Thievery though--that's more my speed. I'm not necessarily for hire, I'm part of Kaz's crew. He finds the jobs, we run 'em.

[greedbowstome]

He absolutely does not realize, at least 90% of the time, all the things he does and says that are definitely easily flirtatious. Just ask Noah. If he did, half of all of his conversations with Jesper would have been different than they are, probably.

"Thought you might." he mumbles quietly, going very, very still as Jesper pushes himself into his space again. He's really terrible about doing that. Even before it became a soft goal to get him more used to that sort of thing from people.

[triggerguard]

"Of course." He murmurs back, carefully watching Kaz's reaction. He knows there are limits--and knows how often he's pressed up against the very edge of them even before coming here. But this is the goal isn't it? To push until it's no longer a barrier to interaction, to people.

"Relax." He breathes, voice low and quiet. He doesn't move closer, but he doesn't remove himself from Kaz's space either.

[greedbowstome]

Easier said than done, Jesper. He isn't sure how to relax with the other boy this close. Jesper's unpredictability only makes everything feel even... riskier than it already is. "What exactly are you doing?" he murmurs, jaw set, body still rigid.

[triggerguard]

Jesper, at first, merely hums and shrugs--letting the moment sit and settle before he offers an actual answer. "Testing. Boundaries, limits." Playing a dangerous game and taking a risk. "I'm not going to reach out and touch you if that's worrying you. Not today, anyway."

[greedbowstome]

That drawn out hum does absolutely nothing for Kaz's nerves. He hates this. He hates how easy it is for someone to get under his skin, even without touching him. Of course, this is exactly why this has to happen, why he has to let it, even though every fiber of his being is screaming at him to escape, to lean away, to create distance and space.

Actually, that assurance does help, at least a little. It's most visible in his shoulders. Still tense, but just that little bit less so. "Something Noah suggested, or did you decide this little tactic on your own?" He's actually not sure which answer he would rather be true.